To be like Arnold

It’s me against the whole world (and some times my selves). No it’s not about winning a girl I love or standing up against an injustice. It’s about a simple stupid motive of using my annual membership of gym at least once in a month. I remember the day when I first paid the hefty amount for the annual membership to the Gym. I came out grinning, dreaming of bringing out those six pack abs duck under my tummy. It remained as a dream that never came true due to my work schedule, demanding client, traffic, rain, late night movies/parties…...the list goes unending.

Working out has always been my passion. Even when I could not go to gym, I used to spend my energy reading all those links that Google showed up when I typed “How to become like Arnold”. Though I could not relate the articles to body building as they were saying like “Stay away from Republicans” or “Marry the lady who has got good political connections” etc, still I tried to follow. Over the time I realized that the idea of working out was not actually working out. So I decided to start jogging after checking out the greenery in the nearest park. It was a good success for a while; till my motivation levels were forcefully dragged down by the presence of those aged fathers of the girls who I was keeping track off.

"Yoga" is the last thing that I can miss after my MBA in SDM, where it was mandatory. I dont think that simple and slow motions can make best use of the levels of testosterne that my body generates.

After failing to commit to jog or gym, the last thing that remained which could fulfill my desire of reducing tummy was to DIET. But I don’t believe in dieting, it’s not meant for me. I have seen my brother suffering in hunger. Ofcourse, he had a reason. He was getting married. He had to survive a typical Tamil Brahman marriage, where the groom sits half naked, wearing transparent dhoti sweating in front of the holy fire, managing his breath to hide his tummy from his future wife as well as from her cute friends. A thought like this was enough to triggere a fire in his belly,so one fine day he decided to burn out the fat in his belly. He enrolled to the near by Gym, obtained a diet chart for one week, that contained those items which I might not consider eating even if I am shipwrecked in a deserted island.

He managed one week following rigorous diet and regular workout . The effects of diet were quite evident in him (No he didn’t get six packs). His otherwise plump cheeks were showing off the bones underneath. His eyes went shallow and he looked weak, but the needle in the weighing machine remained steady like rock. My brother, like a saint seeking out for the truth of life, spent rest of his evening seeking out for the accurate weight, rejecting any reading of the m/c that moved the needle close to his little finger of his right foot. Being frustrated with the result, next week he did more than justice to the quantity of food that he had missed. He had enough meal to shoot up the inflation by two points.

The diet is some thing that I can think of following between breakfast and lunch. Being a connoisseur, food happens to be my first love, my passion, and my only addiction.I dont understand how can eating 200 gms of chocolate results in 2kg of weight gain.

Having failed to stick to any of the method that helps me to build a six pack, my ambition to become like Arnold seems to have more possibility if I decide to enter in to politics than entering in Gym. Oflate I have been trying out another idea that makes me look slim which is hanging out with fat people (it's working :). Any other path breaking idea (s) that helps to chisel my fat and brings out the six packs is always welcome.

Battle of the Sexes

Following conversation reflects the thought process of a quintessential Indian Boy and Girl (*Conditions Apply*). In an effort to keep the blog short, and to motivate you to go through this, I have decided to limit this post only to the discussion. The Analysis of this discussion will be in my next post. Enjoy reading this post.

It was the break time and she grabbed my hand. "I need to talk to you" she said in a serious tone. "Sorry...I don't have time for that" I replied

"I’ve brought Veg Pulav" she tapped the tiffin box in side her bag giving a winning smile.

I was in sixth semester of my Engineering. She was my class mate, and my room mate's girl friend. A Girl Friend here means the one who can be a potential threat of becoming a lover.

"You think you can buy my time with a box of Pulav?" I asked her annoyingly.

After 5 mins I found myself sitting in front of her, eating the Veg Pulav made by her and listening to her latest fight she had with my room mate. After 15 mins of narration, I was given a chance to speak, rather I assumed that I was given a chance.

She: Is he gone mad?
Me: Was fine till he met you.

She: (Not caring my comment) He fights over any thing and every thing Vardhan. Previously he used to call me to flirt and now he phones me to fight. Why is he doing that? (She bangs her fist on table)
Me: (I paid a tense attention to her giving a puzzled expression, gripping the spoon in my mouth).

She: You know, yesterday I waited for you two to join me for lunch. But you guys went out and I did not even had my lunch yesterday (She put up a face of concatenated and complex expressions)
Me: May I correct. You waited for him, not me and he wanted to have non veg so he went to local Andhra mess. By the way did you tell him that you were waiting for him?

She: NO. I did not, but he should understand it.
Me: Oh.... (Eating Pulav) that bugger did not tell me that he knows mind reading.

She: (With a menacing look) You don't understand this Vardhan. Have you noticed that, he is drinking lot these days and not to mention the number of cigarettes he burns. Can’t' you tell him to stop. I mean he is not bothered about his health...

Me: Why are you telling this to me? You can ask him right?
She: You think he listens to me? Last week, almost every day he boozed and picked up fight with me. I could not even eat or sleep properly because of him. Why do I need to go through it because of this drunkard, I don’t understand (She looks worried)

Me: Forget that drunkard…… marry me
She: What???!!!!
Me: Yes. I can compromise on lot of things in my life to get this Pulav daily.
She: (Smiling) Thanks for the comment, but no thanks for the offer. (Expression changed to anger) And remember never call him a “Drunkard” again.

Me: But, you just said that!!!! (Guiltlessly stuffing my mouth with more Pulav)
She: I can but not you.... Pchhh....You don’t understand Vardhan

Me: Look. Every one has a freedom to make one's choices. It's his choice to drink and smoke and I don’t believe in advising an adult. Moreover, he was the same drunkard and chain smoker before you became close to him. Which means you accepted him as a package with good and bad qualities. Now you are forgetting all the good part and pestering about the bad. Expect only those that can be expected in a relation and don’t try to show the ownership.

She: You are so mean!!!! I am telling you my problems and you support him and lecture me on how to live my life? You don’t understand this Vardhan till you are in Love.

Me: Who said I was never in love. I have innumerable one sided love stories and of them only one girl had a drinking problem, but I accepted that as a package and this weekend we will be going to a pub.Anyway I am done (Slid the empty box towards her).

She: Wait....I need to talk.
Me: (Looking impatiently) Well....hmmm

She: Fine.... (With an annoyed look she takes out another box from bag and thrashes in my hand) curd rice (in a curt voice) and promise me you don’t make fun out of this serious situation.

She: Why does he roam with that witch Neha. You know yesterday my room mate saw these two going on bike.
Me: For obvious reasons, she is hot. Even I want to roam with her. (I started concentrating on curd rice)

She: You don't understand how it feels like and please stop cracking jokes on every thing.(Angry look)What was so important that he had to escort her to a medical store?

Me: You have the answer, its for medicines. By the way can I make one thing clear "Do you love him? or Did he say that he loves you?"(Actually they are one step above to being close friends and one step below to being lovers; it's like being in an In transit phase of a relation.....)

She: You don’t understand Vardhan
Me: (Savoring curd rice with pickle)

She: You know, on my last birth day he had promised that he will not let me shed even a drop of tear at any cost. But you don't know how many times I wept because of him.
Me: (Still enjoying curd rice) hmmm.....

She:I still remember (Shedding few tears instantaneously) and now my birth day is tomorrow and (sneezing in her kerchief) he doesn’t even seem to have planned a surprise gift.
Me: (Licking the box)

She: He doesn’t spend time with me as he was doing before. He treats me like every one else. I am no more special. Are you listening???
Me:(Licking the spoon)

She: I hate it when he plays jokes with girls like that. (Giving an intolerable jealous look) He looks like a flirt only
Me: So…you want him to flirt with boys? Turn him to a gay?

She: (Tiered look)Oh….stop your nonsense.
Me: I don’t understand why you are acting as if you got married to him?

She: @%%@##$$....YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND VARDHAN!!! (She storms out after snatching the tiffin box which now looked spotlessly clean )

“What happened” my room mate entered the scene. “You need to promise one thing” I asked him.

“What?”

“Keep fighting with her at least once in a week, so that I can get to taste the Pulav often.” We broke in to laughter unaware of her reentry.

Supply Chain Demystified Part-1

Life has taught me more about Pricing and Supply Chain Management than did my MBA. It has taught me to buy the goods at the point where they are produced. Because more number of partners (vendors/goods suppliers) in supply chain increases the cost of the product. That’s the reason why I prefer to buy my clothes from a Factory outlet or get them tailored. Same applies to Milk also (no naughty thoughts please). I go to the direct dealer near my house, so that I can buy them at MRP, where as door step delivery costs an additional 50 Paisa/ Packet. Today as usual I reached the shop early in the morning escaping the ferocious street dogs. A man buying a bagful of packets smiled at me. I thought I should say some thing. So I said to him smiling “Seems like you have a big family!”.” No” he said amused “I run a canteen here”. The next day I saw a lady buying packets in bulk. I could not resist asking her so I asked “Seems like you run a canteen!”. “No...” She retarded saying “It’s for my family”.

Now, coming back to the point, managing the Supply Chain is not an easy task. Not that I could not score an “A” in SCM, but really it is tough. As the production needs to be maintained in sync with the fluctuating demand without having a higher lead time of delivery. SCM encompasses all the activities of Procurement, Production and Marketing divisions. A scope of an ideal supply chain is considered from your vendor’s vendor to customer’s customer (in a typical B2B scenario). So when you have so many organizational entities, intermediaries and partners, it’s sure that whatever efforts you put to match the demand with the supply, you will still be in a mess.

Production is a controllable factor but not the demand. There are lots of factors that cause huge fluctuations to Demand. The major factor is “Economy”, the leading indicator of the (demand) fluctuation. Let me give an example that can etch in your mind. Recently Pfizer had announced one year free supply of medicines to jobless youth in the country. Needless to say that Viagra was the most sought after than any other drug. Now put yourselves in the shoes of Supply Chain Manager of a Firm that manufactures Latex. Will you be able to react to the increased demand for condoms? First of all will you be able to understand the fact that it affects your demand? Since Pfizer is in a totally different sector. There are certain Freak economic Theories like “Lipstick Theory” and Condom Economy (No, I am not talking about the size of economy pack), which says that whenever there is a dip in economy, there will be a raise in the sale of products like lipsticks and condoms. I will leave the causes of this phenomenon to your guessing. But now you know what goes up when every thing goes down.

To summarize this post, the first rule of attaining Supply Chain Efficiency is to have a simple and short SC. This makes the supply chain more resilient and cost effective. The other factors that affect SC efficiency are Infra Structure, Information Technology, Climate and other miscellaneous factors like Forecast errors, vendor delays etc. As this is a vast subject, we can discuss this by parts. So let’s take a break here.

No country for Plastic Money

It was on one fateful Sunday morning that I got a call from my friend. He offered me a free lunch if I can drag my lazy bum (Not literally) till his office in ITPL. It's not that he was my close friend nor I had anything to do for the rest of the day except to be a couch potato, but it was the treat that tempted me. I skipped my breakfast in order to take full advantage of the offer. At 12 noon, I grabbed my bike keys and started off.

To my horror, the fuel in my bike dried out and so was the petrol bunks due to strike in B’lore. Cursing my luck, I came back home tired and thirsty after dragging my heavy bike under hot sun .The Aqua Guard was useless without power. With little energy that was left, I checked my wallet and rummaged my room. After 5 mins I started my journey to ITPL with a book full of Meal Vouchers, two Debit Cards and a Credit card and few coins.

The bus dropped me to the nearest ATM that was out of condition. With a brave heart, and 2 one rupee coins, I boarded a bus, only to learn the words that one can use to swear by in Kannada, as I was caught traveling without ticket. It was 2 PM and I still wanted to commute by bus(This time with ticket) despite my friend’s plea over phone as the autowalas were over demanding. On some one's advice I started off to the nearest ATM which was 2 kms far, cursing the dusty roads and the traffic. As my luck would have it, after getting fired under the hot sun, I met an ATM that was already robbed and another one which was in the process. I stood impatiently in the queue and rushed in at my turn. "Sorry the machine is out of Money" the ugly lines flashed on screen.

A good Samaritan there offered me a drop to another place, a remote area where even one manages to get cash from ATM, cannot manage to get a bus. As my mind had already shut downed many of its operations by then, I sat in his bike without giving a second thought. At 2:30 I was standing in a deserted place staring a HDFC ATM that is yet to be launched. By then, my tongue was parched and stomach dried. My cooked up brain had started hallucinating of vultures following behind. The lonely shop nearby, became an oasis to me in that hot and deserted place. To my despair, my choice of food was limited to a five star chocolate and no water or drink. I ate greedily and settled the bill of 10RS chocolate with 50Rs meal vouchers after a lot of convincing.

The 250 calories gave my brain a little energy to think rationally. I accepted my defeat to the situation. I understood that this is not a country where one can roam around happily with bunch of plastic cards .I negotiated an auto for Rs300. On my way I called up my friend and was about to say that I am on my way....and the battery went dead. I fell back on my seat too strained to be panic and closed my eyes.

After 10 mins, I made an effort to cheer seeing my friend talking to the driver. We drove to nearest Restaurant which by 3:30 had closed its service. Dejected, we helped ourselves with a bottle of coke from a bakery nearby. Burdened by the ill adventure, I took the same auto to go back home. The fateful Sunday, I shelled out 600 bucks to stay hungry, weak and frustrated. May be the world is moving with Credit cards and M-Check but India has long way to go to make all the basic services to be technologically accessible.

Money, Market and Male Chauvinism

For those who have not read the first part "This post will make sense only if you have read my previous one ”Ramblings of a Male Chauvinist"" . For those who have already read that, "This post will be equally senselessly satirical as the previous part”.

The last part was written in the bygone period when we the word “Recession” was unheard. The time when companies were unwontedly kind to its employees; Banks were quixotically generous in lending money. The Sensex was zooming past 15K mark & GDP touching 8, my company was in profit and I was in a project. Coming to the dynamics of marriage market, it was the time when most of the young Indian males were aiming to get foreign jobs and young Indian females were aiming to get those Indian males who were settled in foreign jobs. Not to spare those baby boomers who were aiming for Son in laws settled in foreign jobs. So literally the entire educated Indian crowd wanted to dump themselves on the foreign ground, some by means of job and others by means of marriage. To be succinct, software grooms settled in abroad were the most sought after.

The situation which was assumed to be perpetual has turned increasingly turbid and phantasmagorical. Guys who were getting high pay checks (Especially in US) are now jobless and have mortgages to pay. I think the only people who reacted to the situation faster than the Fund Managers are the Girls’ parents. If you take a glance at the part one, I had posted few sample profiles of girls that represented the over all ambition of the population. I did not get a chance to see how the profiles have been modified now. But it might sure look like this.

• Varshini has completed her 10th, has finished her diploma in Classical Dance and is looking forward to settle in US. Brahmin Software boys working in US are preferred. for Brahmin Boys working in positions like IAS, IPS or any other good Govt. jobs can contact us.

• Mythili is studying final year engineering. Interested to settle down in US Green card holders are preferred, H1B might be considered. Software engineers who are not looking for a working girl can please contact, others kindly excuse. She is good at cooking, has also got a degree in classical music. We are looking for a well-settled groom below 32 years and who is working in state or central government. Software Engineers please excuse.

• Roshini is a broad minded girl from an orthodox family. She is was working in US. We are interested for boys who are at a good managerial position in Investment Banking or Software Firms Government Organizations or owning a business inUS. Divorcees are also considered. The girl wants to settle down in US India. We are looking for a well-settled Groom working in State or Central Govt from a good family background. Software Engineers and Investment Bankers please excuse.

The above situation reminds me of my internship, where I’ve sold Unit Linked Insurance Plans (or Equity Linked Saving Schemes) to customers by highlighting their key benefit of “Switch” option. The investor can switch their funds between Equity (Stocks) and Debt (Govt. Bonds and securities) markets depending upon the market condition. I.e. when the investor speculates the market is doing well, he can opt to put his funds in the stocks (Mutual funds) and when he expects the markets to fall, he can switch the funds to safer govt. bonds that give lower but fixed returns. Similarly the Fund managers of Indian marriage market have currently switched their assets to safer grounds (With a possible exclusion of switching after entering into conjugal relationship).

Well coming to the male chauvinistic part that you are wondering about. Hope I have an option to make my life as attractive as a mutual fund. If only I have an option to marry girls from various sectors like Power, Infra Structure, Manufacturing, Technology and Govt (jobs like Banks, lecturers, IAS or IPS (Not IPS…it has high personal risk factor)). So that I can diversify risk and maximize income and can retire early. I will be more assured of wealth if I can also avail the above option for commodities and derivatives.

I guess that any girl reading this blog will sure be running out of all the filthy words she ever knew (Considering the most notorious word has already been placed in the title). So if you are some hardcore Feminist (or can i say Female chauvinist :) )then you need to understand that you are reading through the mind of a so called male chauvinistic guy and as usual the blog is little exaggerated.

For Guys, call it a brunt of life, but the demand and supply has always its say in any market and the marriage market is no exception. Even in moments of the most imminent peril that we are living now, its woman on top. Blame it on the on the baby boomers who are taking this uncouth gambol, but that’s the reality and it needs to be accepted. So gear up for Civil services if possible.

Taken over by Writer’s block

My blog reminds me of life cycle of a product that has bombed in the market. It is going through the phases of Introduction, growth, maturity and decline at a lightning speed. But I am taking stringent steps to keep my blog from slipping to the fourth stage. However the true achievement of holding my blog in the maturity stage is attributed to those forced readers of mine who pick up my every call praying not to become the victims of my doggedness and end up reading and then rating my blog. Well my tele marketing skills proved quite successful resulting at least four comments (Giving 25% of the call success rate) per post appreciating the writer in me. Over the period the call success rate has tremendously increased as my pals started to offer their passwords in order to encourage the self-boasting of writer in me.

Well it’s not just the tele calls or my customer hostages who bargain their passwords with me for their own peaceful living which keeps my blog site active. It’s also my clownishly insensible way of narrating the gloomiest state of the human side that generates certain level of interest (Approximately .01%) in readers . Adding to the existing blogs that has been rated on an average of 8 out of 10 points for being lachrymonious, soporific and depressing, I keep ragging the writer in me to come up with a new idea to ensure some activity in this page. The process of idea generation and dumping my brain waste on this virtual ground was never easy.

The Writer’s Block had taken me over and I find dearth of topics to write on. As the days progressed, the real priorities in my life started showing off their power. My Boss had put me in a Project that demanded lot of reading and attention. My Client, to whom my company had portrayed me as a Super man, had come up with a kind of requirements that can only be met by a Gene in the lamp. I started to work 14X7 to meet the requirements, but still my Client saw a light year distance of gap between his expectations, and my performance. The Superman in me eventually has transformed to a Doberman by the end of the project. Now being on a Bench, I felt a strong motivation to do justice to the blog that I had created long back and was on the verge of forgetting my own blog site address. All my customer hostages had conveniently forgotten the trouble of going through my paradoxical writings. Before my motivation and ambition of writing a blog gets vanished like a vapor in the sun, I vigorously started digging my brain like a hungry dog searching for a bone. I relentlessly searched for the topic on which I can talk tirelessly, effortlessly and last but not the least “senselessly” for hours.

At times little independent threads of ideas ran through the texture of my mind and died away before I actually slaughter them with my pen (Hmmm..Rather with the keyboard).The brainstorming, which was actually confined to my brain, did not give desired results. I did primary and secondary research to come out with a suitable topic. I thought of addressing some burning issues like “political situation in India” or update the blog with recent cricket stories, but again, it would risk the numbers (of Reader Population). Some topics like “Demand Elasticity of Latex”, “Lip stick theorem and it’s relation with recession” etc bombarded my brains, but could not make much of an impact. It was just before I decided to give up the idea of harassing the writer in me, I got a call from Deepu asking about my next blog. Though the call could not reactivate my brain cells , but sure had charged every limb in my body to pull my self together to type some meaning less sentences. Well you might have understood that you have wasted your time reading this post instead of wasting the same in a smoking zone or in a café. What I can promise you is that, in my next post I would put my 100% efforts to make it at least 0.00001% interesting.

Talking Cricket

If you are looking for an expert comment on Don Bradman's bowling skills or Malcom Marshall's batting style (Did I mess up some thing??), then you are reading a wrong post. This post tells about why I hate cricket so much. How this game has been casting it’s evil spell on me over the years.

The story of my impassiveness towards cricket dates back to my childhood when I had no companion left to play any game in the season of cricket, as every kid in my street is glued to the TV and anxiously listening to their jobless uncle’s useless comments on the game. The breaks between the classes were also quite challenging, as my friends use to find me as a major source of entertainment in the cricket season. My classmates surround me during the breaks and use to pose questions like “What is your comments on Japan's unanticipated triumph over Australia”, "Which is the fourth country that has agreed to participate in the forth coming triangular series?" Or "As a captain of the team, which one of these two would you choose to play after winning the toss on a wet pitch". The options were given as Fielding or Bowling. Thanks to the frequent occurrence of these incidents, I was tested positive for "Cricket language deficiency syndrome”.

This CLDC has its own undesirable effects right from my childhood to till date. Despite knowing all the south Indian languages, having CLDC had always put a hold to my extroverted ness. It was in my class 10, when I competed over another kid for the post of class representative. Little did I realize that my class mate’s gyan over cricket was way above my bounds, the election turned out to be a selection. The devil’s stroke was a master success. The disease had started showing the effects from then. The second time when I became the victim was in the GD conducted for a B-school selection. My already meager hope of getting selected went down the drain when I heard the GD topic being announced “Emerging problem in Indian cricket- supporting the captain courageous or player outrageous??”

Amongst Indians, Cricket happens to be a perfect Ice breaker. They talk cricket to initiate or continue a discussion. This always happens with me during my lunch with clients. I suddenly start to concentrate more on my food when the topic switches to cricket. Having been so verbal till then, my clients take my sudden silence as a result of some deep thought process over the subject and would eagerly wait for the expert opinions. Having been exposed to such situations before, I used to save my head by passing some banal comments, until one day when I saw my manager's remark in the performance appraisal as "Need to improve his knowledge on cricket".

It was during some cricket season, when I went for requirement gathering for a project to Dubai, the only place on earth where you find more Mallus than in Kerala. Since the clients were able to manage with my broken Tamil, I was able to build a good rapport with them. My Boss was also quite satisfied for his wise decision of making me the part of his project team.Until one day, it was during the lunch time when I was sharing my table with few top managers from the Client side. I was giving out my expert opinions on the current financial situation in India (Thanks to magazines and the blog (http://www.shyamscolumn.com/), the Big Guns seemed quite impressed with my knowledge. Then it was one of my team members who had trouble digesting this business gyan, broke the conversation by saying "Have you seen yesterday's match?” The one word "Match" to which I could never match my skills with. The one word which effectively nullified all my efforts and my clients were all ears to him.

With in five minutes, every one around me started arguing like old friends, while I was sitting like a dumb fool not knowing what to speak. All the hell broke loose when one of the senior manager asked "So Vardhan, how do you think, the last over was?” Sitting there without participating in the discussion, I could only guess two things: 1) India is playing this match with some country. 2) He is talking about the 49th over. I quickly dug my hand in pocket and said "Sorry I got a call" in an effort to avoid delivering some absurd comment. "Oh please carry on." he said. "Hey did you activate International roaming" asked the guy sitting next to me. "No" I replied casually drawing the cell phone near to me ear. A dead silence was followed my answer. I suddenly understood the level of stupidity I can achieve. I quickly answered with the dumbest smile that I can ever give "Oh!! it's a remainder. I almost forgot that my cell doesn't work here". I turned to the person who asked me the question "Sorry Shiv, you were telling me some thing". He repeated his question, while all others at the table were paying attention to our conversation. "Oh the 49th over" I passed a banal comment "It was exciting”. There was another dead silence; the people were looking at me as if I committed some blasphemy. It seemed eternity, there are at times you feel that the land cracks and you hide yourself inside. I didn’t know where did I go wrong. "Ok" my Client said breaking the deafening silence with a stiff tone "I am done, shall we move?" We all raised and I caught my Boss and asked. "Boss what happened, why are they looking at me like a criminal". "For God-sake Vardhan" My Boss spoke sternly "It was 20-20 match which they were speaking of". "Jesus Christ!!" I said "But where did I go wrong?”

The circumstances like these proved to be altering my career plans, but never the less could force me to know this game. Over the years and in many of the important phases of my life, cricket has been playing its role by casting its dark shadow on my skills. The importance of cricket in India has reached to such an extent that the community might spare you even if you don’t know which the ruling party is, but not if you miss out naming the last coach of the Indian cricket. I fail to understand why is this nation more bothered about Sachin’s batting scores than Sensex up’s and downs? Dhoni’s run rate than India’s GDP growth? Why all the 100 crore plus population concentrates on one game Cricket? Why does a guy like me deserves a comments (with a pitiful looks) like "oh...you don't know cricket! That's so sad"

Well the above questions can never be answered since the majority of the crowd (110 crore population) is mad about a game and thinks I am mad because I am not mad about this game : ).

నా జైలు జీవితం

ఇది నా ఇక్కడ, చెప్పేదే వేదం. ఇది నా కాలేజీ లైఫ్ గురించి. స్టూడెంట్ లైఫ్ ని ఎంజాయ్ చేద్దామని రెండు సంవత్సరాలు ఖైదీ iపోయిన వాడి వ్యథ. నా విషయానికొస్తే నేను ఉత్తముడు, తెలివైన వాడు, స్వతహాగా చమత్కారి ని (నేను ముందే చెప్పాను , నేను చెప్పిందే వేదం అని ). ఈ రెండు సంవత్సరాల జైలు జీవితం నాకొక బావ, మామ, తాత మరియు ఒక పెళ్ళాన్ని ఇచ్చింది. నాకు తెలుసు అన్నీ వదిలేసి మీరు పెళ్ళాం (నేను పదం గురించి చెబుతున్నాను ) మీద ఆసక్తి చూపుతున్నారు అని. నేను కాంపస్ లో అడుగెట్టగానే అప్సరస లాగ కనిపించింది. అంతే ఇక ఎం ఆలోచించకుండా మూడు ముళ్ళు వేసేసి , ఏడడుగులు నడిపించేసి ధర్మపతి ని ఐపోయా నా మనసులో. ఆ అమ్మాయి అసలు అందాని కి అందం, చదువు...ఇక మిగతావెందుకు? అందం చాలదూ ? కానీ కల్లనేవి నాకొక్కడికే ఇచ్చాడా ఆ దేవుడు ? మా కళాశాలలో ఉన్న ప్రతి ఒక్క గొట్టం గాడికి ఇచ్చాడు.

నేను మా ఆవిడ విపరీతంగా ప్రేమించుకుంటాం. నేను తనని, తను ఇంకొకర్ని. తను నాతో మాట్లాడటానికి ఎంతగా సిగ్గు పడుతుందంటే ! మొదటి సారి కలిసినపుడు పక్కనె నిలబడి హాయ్ చెప్పింది తర్వాత సిగ్గుతో ముసి ముసి నవ్వులు నవ్వుతూ బాయ్ చెప్పింది. ఆ "హాయ్" కి "బాయ్" కి మధ్య దూరం రెండు సంవత్సరాలు.

ఇక నాతో ఉన్న హితులు, సన్నిహితులు, ఇక్కడ చెప్పుకో దాగిన వారు నలుగురు. అందులో మొదటి వ్యక్తి మా బావ.
పోకిరి సినిమా రిలీజ్ అవ్వడానికి ముందీ నాకు, మహేష్ బాబు కి ఉన్న (ఒకే) ఒక్క అలవాటు అందర్నీ "అన్నయ్యా" అని పిలవటం. దీనివల్ల నాతో స్నేహం చేసినందుకు పాప ఫలితంగా అందరూ వాడిని "అన్నయ్య" అని పిలవడం మొదలెట్టారు. అమ్మాయిలతో సహా. తరువాత వాడి పోరు పడలేక కష్టపడి అన్నయ్య నుంచి వాడిని "బావ" ను చేశా. ఐనా ఎ మాటకామాట చెప్పుకోవాలి కాని, అన్నయ్య అని పిలిపించులోని పోగొట్టుకొన్నది లేదూ, బావా అని పిలిపించుకొని పెద్దగా పోదిచిన్డీ లేదు.

ఇప్పుడు మనం ఇంకో పాత్ర "బాబు"గురించి చెప్పుకొందాం. ఈయనకీ పేరు మన సిని రంగంలో ఈయన భంధువులు ఉన్నందువల్ల వచ్చింది. సత్బ్రహ్మనుడు , మంచి వాడు (మరి నాతో ఎందుకు చేరాడు!). ఇంకా చెప్పలన్తేయ్ శంకర భరణం సినిమా లో సోమయాజి గారి లాంటి వాడు. ఈయన తన స్వయంకృషి తో (చెప్పులు కుట్టి కాదు, బుక్కులు పట్టి) స్వర్ణ పథకాన్ని పొందాడు (నేనుకూడా (పరుల) స్వయంకృషి తో నా డిగ్రీ పొందాను). ఈయన గారు ఆర్ధిక శాస్త్రం లో అపర మేధావి, మా పంతులు గారికి ఏకలవ్యుడి లాంటి శిష్యుడు.

ఇక ముఖ్యంగా చెప్పుకోవలసిన వాళ్ళు ఇంకా ఇద్దరున్నారు. తెలుగింటి ఆడపడుచులు , కోపం రాని వరకూ మంచి వాళ్లు. నాకు ఎలాంటి సమస్య ఉన్నా వీరిద్దరూ నా పక్కన ఉండటానికి ఆరాట పడతారు. నిజం చెప్పాలంటే ఉబలాట పడతారునేను పడే కష్టాలు చూడటానికి. కానీ చాలా మంచివారు, నన్ను సరైన దారి లో పెట్టటానికి రెండేళ్ళు భగీరథ ప్రయత్నం చేసి ఆసలు వదిలేసారు.

ఈ వ్యాసం పాత్రల పరిచయం కే నిమిత్తం. ఇక అసలు కథ లో అడుగెట్టడం నాకు మూడ్ ని బట్టి నాకు కున్న సమయాన్ని బట్టి ఉంటుంది. అంత దాకా సెలవు.