Colors of Life (Styles)

Last week one of my friends from Mangalore (Sid), offered me a couple of free luncheons and dinners, which was enough to lure me to pack my bags and run to Mangalore. Santa accompanied me in this trip.

After our trip to the near by falls, Agumbe and Sid’s favorite place his college in Manipal (Best of the colors were seen at Manipal however), we settled down in a restaurant called “Village”. Sid ordered the list of items that he wanted to try there, it covered 80% of the items under Vegetarian section. I wouldn't surprise if half the species in the world goes extinct, if this guy changes his food habits. In order to avoid staring at others plates , we started talking about our college days. Sid asked me to explain the concept of “Niggers and whites”.

It was in our college days, we had divided the people in to two prominent classes they are “The Whites” and “the blacks”. There is also another category of (psyched up) people called “Tribals” who were neither W nor B. Forget it we are not going to talk about that tribe now.

“First let me tell you about Whites” I said “These guys are gifted with all kinds of luxuries that a student in India can think of having. Like four wheelers, posh bikes and visits to exquisite restaurants and hookah bars with (white) girls. When they go for trip, it will be to the places like Munnar, Kodai or some other fancy place like Goa.

“So do I fall in the Whites category?” Shippy asked me curiously, knowing that he matched most of the above said criteria. “No” the answer came from Sid “You are a Nigger. You will come to know why” he took another big bite from the Veg Role and gestured me to continue. I resumed again. “They are posh and speak class English. Whatever they do, will do in a class way. They talk US politics and listen to English numbers. Show interest only in fellow whites. Blacks are not much entertained leaving out few exceptions like Tatri (Kind of Michale Jackson, a fair skinned black), Sid (A cosmopolitan Nigger) and Santa (A Negro comedian)

Now coming to the blacks. These guys enjoy the life in their own ways despite being devoid of all the luxuries that whites enjoy. Unlike whites, the person to bike ratio is 4:1. For example all of us (you are right, in a way it’s Nigger’s get together) had just one two wheeler to ride, that was our Sid’s priced possession, rather call it an antique piece. (It was the first model of Bajaj Chetak, released in India). The blacks do not speak good English, (believe me I am an exception…hmmm…ok to some extent Sid). They discuss local politics and listen to regional music. Their cash flow allows them to drink only in small bars, dhabhas and some times in their own hostel rooms. They rarely will have (white) girls accompanied. These guys are simple in nature and try to mingle with every one. If they plan a trip, it would be as simple as: trekking to Chamundi hills or boating in Karanji Lake etc. I paused as I poked the fork in to the “Crispy Vegitable" in a desperate attempt to get a taste of it before sid sucks it in like a black hole

Not knowing whether it was a pause or a stop, Shippy said to me “You still did not reason me out why am I black”. “Well not all the questions can be answered by this theory” I said disappointed as Sid snatched away the last piece of “Crispy Veg”. “But let me ask you” I said pointing the fork at him “What makes you to organize this trip with a bunch of hard core niggers? And not a single white included!” I said, “This should explain the logic behind your categorization”

“Sanal and I have come up with a new theory” Sid exclaimed. Santa was not bothered about all these funny classifications, as the gloomy thoughts about his girl friend loomed over him after the fourth peg. As it was expected we did not give a damn about it.

While the Management of the “Village” was planning to ease their operations by laying down a conveyor belt from Kitchen to Sid’s mouth, Sid spoke tearing a paratha “It’s three groups. Ramu, Dude and Class”. Ramu are basically God fearing, flat, simple and obedient guys. ‘Kind of Black’ I thought. “Class” he said and stopped to order half of the desserts available in the Menu(he was on diet). Then he continued, “owing to their brought up ,and the surrounding environments, Class guys tend to be very posh, modern and polished”. I asked Sid “the way I am. So, do I belong to..." He said cutting across my words "Dont even think about it.It will be an insult to that group if I said you were class” he said vacuuming the remaining Coke from the bottle. “Coming to Dudes" he continued "These guys are originally “Ramu”s, apparently they try to behave like Class” he said “Like Sree, Vardhan, Anju etc”. "Ok. I am in this at least" I said to myself happily.

We finished the dinner and were happy about our own theories and the discussion that went on. By now you might have got a fair idea about the segment that you fit into. Both the theories are based on the attribute “Life Style”. These ground-breaking theories are of extensive help when you go for segmenting a market on the basis of this Psychographic attribute. I am sure the Sid’s theory is more refined, while mine has got fair chances of creating a communal riots if applied.