Flight of Fury

I came back from vacation two weeks ago. Two weeks is what it took me to come back to normal after the traumatic flight travel. You know what is bad about flying in economy class? Its everything. But It is super bad if you are sitting next to those young parents with kids who look like they are in constant battle throughout the flight trying to calm their kids, cleaning their mess while they themselves are covered in vomit. But the worst part is when you are one of such parent. So two weeks back I was in that worst position, as I flew with my twins to Sydney.

To avoid flying with kids I proposed alternatives to my wife. Like for example I upgrade to business class and the rest come in economy, or probably sailing, or to leave them in India till they can travel on their own. Yes, my wife thought the same that I was joking. So I did not tell her my other idea of dressing them in dog costume. I asked my doctor brother in law to give some sleep inducing medicine to kids, so that I survive the flight. He was against it, because as per him, the kids may sleep during the flight but will get very cranky later. So, I asked him to give those to me, so that I get knocked out while they are cranky in the flight. Now my wife was against it.

Finally the day I dreaded arrived, we loaded all our suitcases in one car and sat with kids in another car. Now why one car dedicated only for the luggage, is because we got 40 plus 7 kilos for each of us including kids. We were 5 of us were allowed to carry quarter of a ton.  So to make the most of it, my wife packed everything her eyes laid on. At least this is one relief of not flying in first class, because my wife would have packed half of the city in to it.

After checking in a ton of suitcases and dancing in front of the security, we sat in the flight only to realise that one of the cabin luggage was checked in by mistake. The one that had diapers, tissues and extra pair of kids cloths. Immediately we started doing what any other sensible couple does, we each try to prove that the other did this. Naturally, as a woman, my wife has photographic memory, so the argument was settled in less than a minute and everyone in the flight hated me for what I have done.

As if my twins understood that we don’t have extra nappies and pair of cloths, they immediately got on their mission to drink and eat more than they do when they were on land. We had 5 hours ahead of us for a change over, and two rapidly filling diapers. Thankfully the race between the flight and diapers was a tie. We managed to buy some diapers and essentials in Singapore, before boarding the next flight to Sydney. But the problems were far from over. My son has motion sickness, so he kept throwing up on me once in a while. Apparently that’s what the kids do, they vomit everywhere except in the air sickness bag that is provided. Both kids got restless in the flight, despite the entertainment we provided and they did not let us sleep throughout the night. The nine hours seemed to have taken forever, as if I was stuck in a ground hog day.

When we landed in Sydney, we all were looking like zombies. We just wanted to reach home, get freshen up and sleep for sometime. But as the luck would have it, we spent an hour in the airport waiting for a suit case that was left over by the airlines in Singapore. We had practically ticked everything in the immigration checklist like dairy, wood, medicines, illegal weaponaries everything that is there in the list. But when the security officer asked me to open a suitcase, my son weakly steps ahead and starts throwing up. The security officer looked at us and says, okay just take your bags and leave. That moment, I was so proud of my son, I thought if only I was a drug dealer this act could have been so justified.

We arrived home bit later than expected, but it took more than 2 weeks for us to get back to normal.