నా జైలు జీవితం

ఇది నా ఇక్కడ, చెప్పేదే వేదం. ఇది నా కాలేజీ లైఫ్ గురించి. స్టూడెంట్ లైఫ్ ని ఎంజాయ్ చేద్దామని రెండు సంవత్సరాలు ఖైదీ iపోయిన వాడి వ్యథ. నా విషయానికొస్తే నేను ఉత్తముడు, తెలివైన వాడు, స్వతహాగా చమత్కారి ని (నేను ముందే చెప్పాను , నేను చెప్పిందే వేదం అని ). ఈ రెండు సంవత్సరాల జైలు జీవితం నాకొక బావ, మామ, తాత మరియు ఒక పెళ్ళాన్ని ఇచ్చింది. నాకు తెలుసు అన్నీ వదిలేసి మీరు పెళ్ళాం (నేను పదం గురించి చెబుతున్నాను ) మీద ఆసక్తి చూపుతున్నారు అని. నేను కాంపస్ లో అడుగెట్టగానే అప్సరస లాగ కనిపించింది. అంతే ఇక ఎం ఆలోచించకుండా మూడు ముళ్ళు వేసేసి , ఏడడుగులు నడిపించేసి ధర్మపతి ని ఐపోయా నా మనసులో. ఆ అమ్మాయి అసలు అందాని కి అందం, చదువు...ఇక మిగతావెందుకు? అందం చాలదూ ? కానీ కల్లనేవి నాకొక్కడికే ఇచ్చాడా ఆ దేవుడు ? మా కళాశాలలో ఉన్న ప్రతి ఒక్క గొట్టం గాడికి ఇచ్చాడు.

నేను మా ఆవిడ విపరీతంగా ప్రేమించుకుంటాం. నేను తనని, తను ఇంకొకర్ని. తను నాతో మాట్లాడటానికి ఎంతగా సిగ్గు పడుతుందంటే ! మొదటి సారి కలిసినపుడు పక్కనె నిలబడి హాయ్ చెప్పింది తర్వాత సిగ్గుతో ముసి ముసి నవ్వులు నవ్వుతూ బాయ్ చెప్పింది. ఆ "హాయ్" కి "బాయ్" కి మధ్య దూరం రెండు సంవత్సరాలు.

ఇక నాతో ఉన్న హితులు, సన్నిహితులు, ఇక్కడ చెప్పుకో దాగిన వారు నలుగురు. అందులో మొదటి వ్యక్తి మా బావ.
పోకిరి సినిమా రిలీజ్ అవ్వడానికి ముందీ నాకు, మహేష్ బాబు కి ఉన్న (ఒకే) ఒక్క అలవాటు అందర్నీ "అన్నయ్యా" అని పిలవటం. దీనివల్ల నాతో స్నేహం చేసినందుకు పాప ఫలితంగా అందరూ వాడిని "అన్నయ్య" అని పిలవడం మొదలెట్టారు. అమ్మాయిలతో సహా. తరువాత వాడి పోరు పడలేక కష్టపడి అన్నయ్య నుంచి వాడిని "బావ" ను చేశా. ఐనా ఎ మాటకామాట చెప్పుకోవాలి కాని, అన్నయ్య అని పిలిపించులోని పోగొట్టుకొన్నది లేదూ, బావా అని పిలిపించుకొని పెద్దగా పోదిచిన్డీ లేదు.

ఇప్పుడు మనం ఇంకో పాత్ర "బాబు"గురించి చెప్పుకొందాం. ఈయనకీ పేరు మన సిని రంగంలో ఈయన భంధువులు ఉన్నందువల్ల వచ్చింది. సత్బ్రహ్మనుడు , మంచి వాడు (మరి నాతో ఎందుకు చేరాడు!). ఇంకా చెప్పలన్తేయ్ శంకర భరణం సినిమా లో సోమయాజి గారి లాంటి వాడు. ఈయన తన స్వయంకృషి తో (చెప్పులు కుట్టి కాదు, బుక్కులు పట్టి) స్వర్ణ పథకాన్ని పొందాడు (నేనుకూడా (పరుల) స్వయంకృషి తో నా డిగ్రీ పొందాను). ఈయన గారు ఆర్ధిక శాస్త్రం లో అపర మేధావి, మా పంతులు గారికి ఏకలవ్యుడి లాంటి శిష్యుడు.

ఇక ముఖ్యంగా చెప్పుకోవలసిన వాళ్ళు ఇంకా ఇద్దరున్నారు. తెలుగింటి ఆడపడుచులు , కోపం రాని వరకూ మంచి వాళ్లు. నాకు ఎలాంటి సమస్య ఉన్నా వీరిద్దరూ నా పక్కన ఉండటానికి ఆరాట పడతారు. నిజం చెప్పాలంటే ఉబలాట పడతారునేను పడే కష్టాలు చూడటానికి. కానీ చాలా మంచివారు, నన్ను సరైన దారి లో పెట్టటానికి రెండేళ్ళు భగీరథ ప్రయత్నం చేసి ఆసలు వదిలేసారు.

ఈ వ్యాసం పాత్రల పరిచయం కే నిమిత్తం. ఇక అసలు కథ లో అడుగెట్టడం నాకు మూడ్ ని బట్టి నాకు కున్న సమయాన్ని బట్టి ఉంటుంది. అంత దాకా సెలవు.

Future shocks

“Guys let’s call it a toast for the nigger gang” I raised the glass and looked for others to join. “Let’s celebrate this much awaited moment” Senthil said and all raised their glass to begin the party. Despite being close to each other both in terms of distance and to the hearts, we are meeting after a decade. Life has become so busy, despite the solar jets and wind cruisers. It’s year 2025, and we all are able to make it for the alumni meet. We are in our early 40s. It is the age to take a small break from the routine and seriously work out for an eight-pack abs. It's the right age for men to look out for an alternate career and love. All of us looked wise with gray steaks of hair. “The early 40s have brought us more of a manly and matured looks” I turned to Tatri and added, “In some cases the maturity confined only to looks”. Every one laughed while Tatri was busy digging his teeth in the turkey.

We had dropped our kids at an amusement park, wives to beauty saloons and sat in a pub to catch up with old memories and few cold beers. Every one of us is quite settled with high paying jobs that promised frequent trips abroad. Iyyer and Tifosi are running their own businesses profitably. Senthil is working out options on quitting his job and joining Tifosi’s venture. After my blog became popular, I started getting offers to work on the scripts of some sex comedies. Vidhun, Santa and Larry are senior managers in reputed Indian MNCs. Tatri and Sid together are running an advertising firm. Last week their firm was on news for doing some controversial ad on a concept called “Brand slut”.

We talked about our college days, careers and then jumped to family matters. As we started talking about our kids, Senthil said firmly “Let’s not talk about this and spoil the party". “What’s wrong with them man?” I asked abit surprised. “Don’t tell me that every thing is right with your kid!” said Larry. “My Son is ok Larry” I said and turned to all “He is disciplined and well mannered”. “Wow” Senthil said gulping his beer “You know my spoiled brat and Tifosi’s kid are doing all sorts of nonsense at school”. Tifosi added “Last month my Son was dismissed from the school for the third time. Luckily his maths teacher was my ex girl friend so you know I had to manage by…” his lips curved in an effort to hide the smile. “Screw you Tify” said Larry “Don’t put the blame on your kid. It’ you who wanted to make use of the situation”. “Why don’t you kick his butt and put him in the right path Tify?” I asked him ignoring his evil smile. “No. I can’t do that” Tify took a puff and said looking at our puzzled faces “He’s got some videos of me in his 3G phone. So I better listen to him”. Before I could recover from the shock, others started narrating about the troubles they are having with their offspring. Vidhun said, “My Son had organized a beach party and almost got arrested". “My son got suspended from school” Santa added, “His classmate fainted after drinking water from his bottle”. “He drinks raw liquor and sells porn magazines at school”

“My kid is little ahead” Iyyer said “I cut his pocket money and he sold 20% of my company shares to my competitors”. “My Son has become such a drunkard that we had to take him to a therapist” said Tatri. “Is he fine now?” I asked. “Who” asked Tatri “The therapist?”. “No you idiot. I am asking about your Son” I smiled. “He didn't change Man” he said warily. “Then?” I asked confused. “The Therapist” he said giving a pause “Became such a big drunkard that his wife and kids deserted him”. Every one laughed.

Sid and Larry iterated similar kind of stories about their spoilt brats. Every one looked at me to speak about my son. “I guess Vardhan’s Son must be managing quite well,” some one said. “No believe me. My Son is really nice, he is very soft natured" a proud father in me said. "He might score less in studies, but when it comes to character" I said standing "He stands tall". "I have heard enough from you guys” I told firmly “Now you all listen to me. Leave your kids in my home this summer. My son and I will take up the responsibility of putting them on the right track". Every one nodded approving of my suggestion. I called for the bill and sat back.

“Sir” the bar tender said and politely handed the bill. “Rs 1.5 Lakhs” I shouted on him “Are you high on Cocaine?” “Calm down Vardhan” Senthil patted on my shoulder “There are two bills” he separated them. There was one bill for Rs 50, 000, which we anticipated, and another for Rs1, 00, 000. “What the hell is this” I took the other bill and questioned furiously while the others were trying to calm me down. The Manager came running and informed all of us “Sir, this is the bill made by a few kids who claim to be your children”. "Oh my God" Iyyer panicked "It's our kids". “What is this???” I looked at the paper “It's a bill from the striptease club, right?” I questioned seeing the heading of the bill. “Right Sir” he said warily. Of every one, Tifosi looked really worried. “What do you mean right” I shot a warning look “Why the heck have you allowed a group of young kids to get into a strip tease bar?” “Oh no” Tatri held his head “I told that ass to be in the amusement park till I pick him up”. The Manager spoke terrified “Sorry Sir. I was forced to allow as one of the kid was having a licensed revolver”. “Oh my God” shouted Tifosi for being confident on his Son’s capabilities. “Sir I swear to God, I have never seen such an ill tempered kid in my entire life” he stopped to catach a breath and continued“He almost shot our stripper when she refused to….”. “You know that kid’s name?” I asked cutting him. “No Sir” he said, “But the revolver’s license is in the name of his Father”. I looked puzzled, as none of us owned a revolver. "Who is that" I said in a harsh tone. “Sir" he said quickly "It's in the name of Mr.Vardhan”. Suddenly my eyesight blurred and I could hear some one shouting to call 911.

Straight from my Mail Box

MAKING A BABY

There is not one dirty word in it, and it is funny. .... Enjoy reading

The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogatefather to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr.Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said, "Well, I'm off now. The man should be here soon."Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographerhappened to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a sale.
"Good morning, Ma'am", he said, "I've come to..."
"Oh, no need to explain," Mrs. Smith cut in, embarrassed, "I've beenexpecting you.
""Have you really?" said the photographer. "Well, that's good. Did you know babies are my specialty?"
"Well that's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat"
After a moment she asked, blushing, "Well, where do we start?"
"Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch, and perhaps a couple on the bed. And sometimes the living room floor is fun You can really spread out there."
"Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work out for Harry and me!"
"Well, Ma'am, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results."
"My, that's a lot!", gasped Mrs. Smith.
"Ma'am, in my line of work a man has to take his time. I'd love to be Inand out in five minutes, but I'm sure you'd be disappointed with that."
"Don't I know it," said Mrs. Smith quietly.
The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of hisbaby pictures.
"This was done on the top of a bus," he said.
"Oh, my God!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed, grasping at her throat.
"And these twins turned out exceptionally well - when you consider theirmother was so difficult to work with."
"She was difficult?" asked Mrs. Smith.
"Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep to get a good look"
"Four and five deep?" said Mrs. Smith, her eyes wide with amazement.
"Yes", the photographer replied. "And for more than three hours, too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling - I could hardly concentrate, and when darkness approached I had to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just had to pack it all in."
Mrs. Smith leaned forward. "Do you mean they actually chewed on your,uh...equipment?"
"It's true, Ma'am, yes.. Well, if you're ready, I'll set-up my tripod and we can get to work right away.
" Tripod?"
"Oh yes, Ma'am. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big to be held in the hand very long. "

Mrs. Smith fainted!!

Straight from my Mail Box

The Logic
Zail singh decided to write the MBA exam. He could understand everything except for the LOGIC part. One day when he was reading, Rajiv came home.

Rajiv: Zail singh ji How is your MBA preparation?
Zail Singh: Every thing is fine, but I could not understand Logic.
Rajiv: Logic is very easy.Zailsingh: Can you give me an example, so that I can understand.Rajiv: OK. Do you have fish pot in your house?
Zail: YES.
Rajiv: Logically, there will be water in it.
Zail: YES.
Rajiv: Logically, there will be fish in it.
Zail: YES.
Rajiv: Logically, someone will be feeding the fish.
Zail: YES.
Rajiv: I take a guess that your wife will be feeding the fish.
Zail: YES.
Rajiv: so, logically, your are married.
Zail: YES.
Rajiv: So, that means U are a heterosexual.
Zailsingh was very glad and he understood logic. Next day he sees Butasingh and he was also preparing for MBA.
Zail: How is your MBA preparation?
Buta: Everything is fine except for the logic.
Zail: Oh, logic is easy.
Buta: Please, give me an example.
Zail: Do you have a fish pot in your house?
Buta: NO, I don't.
Zail: Saala HOMO!!!

Realty Bites

Here I come, unleashing the devil in me, vandalizing your life styles, dismantling your dreams, nudging you off from your career ladder. Here I come to spell dooms day for you, to make you swirl aimlessly in the eye of a financial storm.

Well don’t mistake me to be some kind of evil incarnation (Even though some people think I am), No I am just a stupid common man (heard this line some where? I wrote the dialogues for that movie). Yes I am just a stupid common man who is going to play a part in the Realty bubble burst (Indian Version). Yes I will be the one to trigger an another wave of the financial tsunami, battering the very foundation of the financial institutions, capsizing the so called Fortune 500 by making them to file chapter 11 over night, and forcing them to fire thousands of top earning wage workers…oops…I meant “Professionals” (includes me) . But why am I going to do this and how? Go on and read ahead as you have already wasted half of your idle time at office, so why to stop?
These days my Mom has a new problem with me (Apart from finding fault in her culinary skills, too many outings with friends etc). She wants me to settle down in the city by owning an independent house. Just a simple need of having a home, is actually made much simpler by a powerful financial tool called “Home Loan”. Apparently this has become her weapon to win over my every argument.

This is a sample of our every day conversation. When I start getting ready to office thinking that I am not going to get fired the same day, my Mom initiates the discussion
Mom: You know! I met one of my old student who is a real estate agent. She promised me a good site. Shall we go this weekend to see all the sites? She says handing over the cell phone and wallet.)
I: (Tying shoe laces) Mom I have to meet my friends. It’s been long time since I…. Mom: (Cutting my words) You have two days holiday, why don’t you try to spare some time out of these.
I: Mom it’s not just about sparing time, it’s about spending money. In this current (market) situation, it’s not good to go for a Home loan. If I loose the job how am I going it to repay? (Yeah I can lie to this extent to win the argument)
Mom: Shut up. You should not talk bad. God forbid. It will never happen to you. (She smears the sacred powder across my forehead and before it starts all over again, I run out saying “Time up” J ).

Yesterday I used the idea that Vijay gave me. When my Mom brought this subject again, I asked “Mom what was your age when u started earning?” “I was just 20 when I started earning” She expressed with a pride in her eyes. “OK” I said “and at what age did you start building the house?” She thought a sec and said “I was 47 when I started the home. I took lot of trouble to build that house”. “Fine” I said and got up “So you took solid 27 years from the first day of the job to build a house for 5 lakhs. While you want me take a home loan of 27 lakhs and start off living a life of stinginess right from my 27th year. How fair you think it is?” .She did not have an answer at that time but Moms never listen. She says that instead of spending 10-12K on rent, why don’t you build a home and pay the EMI of same amount or little more. She has her own good reasons for having an own house but I have only one reason not to go for it. It’s Money. I am sure I don’t want to be a home loan defaulter and pull down the entire economy with me.

I guess you might have understood, it’s not my sole intention to create another financial Tsunami, I am just a tool. In a city like Bangalore, to have a roof on your head will actually cost a fortune. This is the second stage of the realty bubble burst. The realtors have bought the lands at higher rate and want to sell it much higher to make the profits . But to buy one piece of land for a guy like me who is just pissing around the poverty line is a distinct reality. So to avoid being a home loan defaulter and drag down the market, I am left with no option except marrying a daughter of a Real estate agent or some lady recovery agent from ICICICICICIC (plz truncate few extra ICs for correction).

Wackiest ways to curb Global Warming

"According to a new U.N. report, the global warming outlook is much worse than originally predicted. Which is pretty bad when they originally predicted it would destroy the planet." --Jay Leno

Women and Earth complement each other in more than one way. Both are difficult to comprehend and both are getting hotter every day. Two major challenges that today’s men facing are “How to stop the woman from doing shopping and how to stop the Earth from heating”. I am not that brainy to advice on the former one. So let’s go to the lesser interesting topic i.e. “How to curb Global Warming”.

One of my friends who was obsessed with global warming and concerned about the girls (No you read it right. I did not interchange the words) was complaining me the other day. He was saying that the girls and the globe form an unending “Loop of Cause” for Global Warming. He said “As the globe is getting hot, girls in my office are wearing lesser cloths, which in turn makes the girl look hot and also makes the surroundings hot. So the Earth gets even hotter. To bear the heat the girls shed one more cloth and the surroundings...” I had to pour a pot of cold water on his head to cool him down.

Well let’s follow some simple tips to save water, power and fuel to save our only home.

Saving Water:

It is predicted that by 2050 one third of the globe will face severe water shortage. So let us use less water and save it more for the future. So those who take bath daily, try giving a day break and those who take bath weekly, try alternate weeks. I sincerely thank to those who take bath occasionally. Scheduling your shower timings according to the monsoon is also one of the best ways to save water.

To those who are saving water but are dependent on deodorants, understand that the deo sprays produce CFC (chloro fluro carbons) that depletes Ozone layer. So shift to the solid de odorants (Sticks) instead of using aerosols. Guys don’t get carried away by Axe ads. You know it’s far from reality.

Not taking bath and also not using the deodorants helps in more than one way. One can save water, Ozone layer and also curb population explosion (That's a stinky joke isn't it? :) ).

Avoid the wastage of water. Drink alcohol without mixing water or go for Tequila shots.

Saving Power:

Saving power is very easy if you are newly married and if it’s cold out side (Oh my God...are you thinking of browsing the net for a new room heater?).if you are in the phase where the magic in your life has just vanished after 5 years of your married life, then you can try getting into some heated arguments with your wife to stay warm in the winter cold. And if you are a bachelor, I better don’t advice you.

It's not just your home where you should save power and the power bills. You can also follow this at your office. Switch off your PC after the work hours or stay on Bench to avoid switching on your PC.

Finally avoid hot water bath to save power, both hot water and taking the bath to save power and water.

Saving Fuel:

Do car pooling. Approach the girls who are near to your residence and offer them a free pick up and drop facility daily. They would not say no. I tried and it works (Now I get calls from them even on Saturday nights asking me to drop at their boy friend's apartment and pick them up on Monday mornings to office). Even if you have a bike you can do pooling by riding triples (Do not think about the fine you pay, think about how fine the situation can get). If you are a girl, it’s very easy you think of doing car pooling and half the office staff will shift their homes to your locality.

Avoid using of vehicles to go to near by places. Instead, go by walk so that you don’t miss any gorgeous girls on the way. Also when you drive, drive smart. So don’t let your wife behind the wheels. Use public transport. You never know whom you bump into. (I once bumped into a lady ticket inspector in the bus without a ticket and she almost stripped me naked)

Also save trees, use less paper (students you just boycott the class if teacher insists you to buy a book). Use plastic responsibly to avoid pollution as well as to control the population (If you did not get this joke also. Then stop reading my blogs). Also create awareness amongst your friends about global warming. I often raise this issue with my female colleagues. When ever we cross our paths I will stop and say “Is this the effect of global warming or it’s just that you who is making me feel hot”.

Follow all these tips to go green also create awareness among children to make them better citizens than us. Leave your comments and let me know what you can do from your side to save the earth.

Please do not print this post unless it is absolutely necessary. Spread environmental awareness.

Rambling of a Male Chauvinist

Of late, I was looking for a perfect match for my brother. So like a quintessential Indian Son, I accompanied my Mom to various marriage bureaus across Bangalore looking for prospective brides. Having committed the mistake of taking birth in an orthodox Brahmin family and over the top of it not getting committed to any one, searching for a better half is not an easy task any more . Well go through this post to get an insight of the dynamics of marriage market.

It’s more complex than the Philip Kotler’s theory of segmentation. It’s like this. I am a Brhmin, in that a Tamilian, with in that sect an Iyengar, with in that…it follows another two layers like this and finally you will know the target sect (s) that you can look into for a bride. If you spot a girl in the microscopic sub sect that you are looking for, I bet you are far luckier than Columbus was (Blame it on the male female ratio in India) when he spotted America. Only thing is that, you might not get into history. Well that’s not the end of the quest. Now the horoscopes of the girl and the boy should match. Believe me this is the toughest part and the chances of getting it matched is as high as winning a UK lottery.

Well if you are gaping your mouth wondering when the guy and girl would have their say, it’s now, please close your mouth, be a vegetarian. If horscope meet, then the two families meet, if time permits the guy and girl will also get to see each other (in presence of their elders). The two families talk and decide if it’s going to work out. Then the guy and the gal would be allowed to talk just for the sake of formality (To hell with their decision, it’s not considered). After this they get married. Now you must be feeling that getting into Microsoft and dating Gate’s daughter is much easier to this. You are right.

Well, coming to the "male chauvinist" part that you are wondering about. I have gone through hundreds of girls profile, in all of them I found one striking similarity. There's one desire that has spread like a disease, a kind of virus that apparently affects the Guys and not the girls. The parents of the girls have updated their daughter’s profile like these. All with a similar set of wants (or should I call it a need. I don’t know)

.Varshini has completed her 10th, has finished her diploma in Classical Dance and is looking forward to settle in US. Brahmin Software boys working in US are preferred. (It could have been more clear if they had mentioned whether it should be a Java professional or Dot Net or SAP. Right?)

.Mythili is studying final year engineering. Interested to settle down in US. Green card holders are preferred, H1B might be considered. Those who are not looking for working girl can contact, others please excuse (Uncle, you could have also have added some thing like “beware of Dogs” or “no entry for sales persons”)

.Roshini is a broad minded girl (Wow…What does that mean?) from an orthodox family (oh…now this confuses me!). She is working in US (I am game). Brahmin boys who are at a good managerial position (Hey! Wait a minute. You said she is broad-minded right?) Or owning a business (You could have been little elaborate by saying the turn over of the business). Divorcees are also considered (!?!?!?). (Yeah I know one guy called Bill Gates, he’s got his own computer shop there. But I am not sure if he is of the same sect as yours).
You might not be as amused as I am if you are a girl. But take it from me, if you are a guy then run up to the nearest gal, propose fast and get married by EOD (Girls are playing hard on the demand supply gap man). Or accept if some one had already proposed you (Too lucky aren’t you?), or the last and also the least advisable “Go green, do your bit to the population explosion”. Still didn’t get it? Ok I was trying to say, “Be a gay”. The Girl’s and their parents requirements are getting much more complex than the client’s requirements. So plan accordingly hedge your future by some means (That’s a naughty thought, but I like it .)

Now Girls, please do contact me if you like my profile.

I am a broad minded Brahmin software techie (Yeah I write codes in Sanskrit). Who has never ever worked on onsite project, who is earning a handsome salary but is ready to sacrifice his career to help his partner’s career and is willing to settle down in US (I told you it’s for Girls not for guys). I am planning to retire after the marriage (I meant from work) and settle down in US or UK. Interested girls who are earning 6 figures and have best features can contact me. Caste no bar.

Oh why am I getting all the sarcastic smiles now? Get into my shoes and tell me what’s wrong if I consider marriage as one convenient option (the way girls are considering now) to obtain the kind of life style I desire. It still sounds ridiculous is it? I bet it would sound completely normal requirement if a gal had said these. I was telling these requirements to one of my girl friend and she said to me “Hey don’t even dream about it. All you guys are same, all are Male @&#%”. I cut the phone.

What on earth is some thing called “Equality”? (Some one rightly said, “Women fight for equality and still demand reservations”).What's wrong if I desire a life style like this. I help her to get ready to office, drop her in a car give a good-bye kiss and drive back home. Put the dishes to washer, clothes to laundry. Then go out and rent some DVDs and buy one crate of Budwieser . By the time friends would have come home to play Poker. Enjoy the Beer, Movie and the game. At evening, will take the Ferarri and roam around with hot chicks. Drop them off to their place, pick up my better half and go home. That’s it. Simple enough? :)

Hey I hear some one yelling “You Male Chauvinistic %&$...”.